1. Why are there two kinds of screwdrivers? I believe they only exist to frustrate women. No matter which kind of screwdriver I need, I find the OTHER one first. And if one is obviously superior to the other, why aren’t all screws made with that type of head and the other done away with? I think the world was just fine with a regular screwdriver and some dude named Phillip came along and said “I want a tool named after me.” So he created a screwdriver, got all his buddies to agree to use it, and now we have about half the screws in the world with little “x’s” on them so when we’re looking for a screwdriver we need to know if it’s a regular one or if it’s phillip’s screwdriver.
2. Tool boxes are too complicated. Really, Handy Manny has the right idea for the most part. Have you looked inside a tool box lately? (Especially a man’s toolbox.) There’s undefinable garbage in there. I can accomplish most of what I need to do with just a few items, the most valuable of which is a hammer. And if I can’t find a hammer, a lot of other things will do in a pinch. (Gary once had a pair of shoes that was heavy enough to use as a hammer. Sorry about those chips in the soles, honey.) And as every woman knows, a butter knife will do as a screwdriver in all but the most precise screwdriver cases.
3. Tools do not automatically become the property of the man. I should not have to resort to buying purple flowered tools in order to guarantee they stay in my toolbox. However, I happen to like purple flowered tools.
4. Tools do not automatically become more valuable because they are filthy. It’s is acceptable to have a clean tool. Especially if you are borrowing mine.
5. Go ahead and mock my tools. I realize that I am the only one in the household that thinks it’s neato-torpedo that you can unscrew the head off my purple-flowered hammer to find seven screwdrivers inside. But then don’t resent my knowing smirk when I see you using it.
6. If you are borrowing something from MY toolbox (which should be fairly obvious because you found it IN my toolbox or you noticed that it is either a feminine color or it is a size you enjoy mocking) you should return it to my toolbox. It does not belong in the garage.
7. When a certain husband leaves a favorite hose nozzle out all winter so that it doesn’t work (cuz something plastic in it got frozen and cracked so that the water just pours over my hand instead of shooting out over all of the cool different settings, a sledge hammer is the perfect item to take out your frustration with it. But be careful, because it will scare the dog.
7 comments:
This is an interesting article: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_screw_drives
Especially interesting is the reason we have phillips screws today. We probably should have had Robertson screws instead because they are superior in most applications, but Robertson was paranoid and so we got stuck with Phillips: "When Henry Ford tried out the Robertson screws he found they saved considerable time in Model T production, but when Robertson refused to license the screws to Ford, Ford realized that the supply of screws would not be guaranteed and chose to limit their use in production to Ford's Canadian division. Robertson's refusal to license his screws prevented their widespread adoption in the United States, where the more widely licensed Phillips head has gained acceptance. The restriction of licensing of Robertson's internal-wrenching square may have sped the development of the internal-wrenching hexagon, although documentation of this is limited."
Robertson screws are still popular in Canada. (yes, they have universal healthcare *AND* better screws!)
BTW flat-head is THE WORST kind of screw; major pain in the neck.
Wow... I never want to see a canadian toolbox. Or butter knife.
Wow, I just looked at that web site and there are WAY too many kinds of screws. That's terrible.
When I heard the words "sledge hammer", I was afraid... just like the dog. And I was 20 miles away.
Not to worry, honey. The sledge hammer was for the nozzle, not you.
I was just going to point out how funny it is that you thought there were only two kinds of screwdrivers. I've got four kinds (in two sizes each) (including Robertson) in my work bag. :)
Looks like Frik beat me to it, though.
It's just WRONG that there are more than two. It's wrong that there's more than one.
Post a Comment