Vicki

I got back a few days ago from a funeral. My brother, Gary, called several weeks ago to let us know that his wife (I don't know if they were actually married technically, but they've been together for 26 years so at the very least they were common-law husband and wife) had passed away. She was diagnosed in January with lung cancer that had already metastasized to her liver and bones, so they knew she was not long for this world.

I hadn't seen Vicki for many years, but my memories of her were that of a very kind, courteous woman who brought out the best in my brother and allowed him to let go of the more difficult parts of himself. He would be the first to admit that because of her he became the best he could be. He has said that he hadn't realized, until she was gone, how much they were connected soul to soul. When they were together they were always very kind and considerate to each other, and that always impressed me. You never saw one of them go into the kitchen to get something only for themselves, they always asked if the other wanted something as well. And of course that extended to anyone else who happened to be nearby as well. Anyway, it always struck me that they were thoughtful of one another's needs...

After a little considering, I decided to go to her memorial service, and of course Dad went with me. He is always so supportive and I appreciate that so much about him. I didn't know if my brother would really want me there, since we don't always see eye to eye on things. In fact, we often tend to take offense at the things we say to each other so I worried that maybe it wouldn't be a good thing to go, but I wanted to show my support and to be honest I wanted to bury the hatchet, if there was one to be buried.

I shouldn't have worried about it. Gary was grateful to see us. Dad and I stayed with Mona (thanks Mona!) in her new house in Vacaville. (more on that later, it's the first time I've been there and I want to talk about that.) We drove to Sacramento about an hour before the services were to start and when we arrived most of the people were waiting outside since the weather was nice. We got out of the car (a rented new beetle) and saw Gary right away. He was standing with my step sister, Barb (who I also hadn't seen in a very long time) and daughter Grace. As soon as I saw him we hugged and of course I cried and told him I loved him and that I was very sorry for his loss. He and Vicki were very much in love and I hated to see him hurting. I asked him if the two of us could just start over and forgive and forget any past offenses and he said yes we could.

After chatting for a few moments with Gary and also Barb, and being introduced to her daughter Grace, we headed into the church for the service. The service itself was short, and Barb's son Mack (we called him Mackie when he was a toddler) read scripture for part of the service. He looks a lot like his father, Mack, who we also got to talk to for a little while. After the service there were some refreshments served for those who attended.

Gary didn't want to keep the flowers from the service so Barb and her family and Dad, Mona, and I drove to the cemetery and left some of the flowers on my dad's grave. It's actually the first time I've been to his grave, he died when I was pregnant with Carolyn. I'll see if I can figure out how to post a couple of the pictures I took with my phone.

Anyway, later that day we had dinner with Mona, Grandma Marilyn (my dad's widow), her daughter Sherri, and Sherri's husband Ashley. It was nice to see them and get re-connected. Dad left to fly home early the next morning but I decided to stay a few extra days to visit with Mona. Her home is a wonderful place. There are three bedrooms, the master bedroom, a bedroom Mona has set up as a home office, and a guest room. There is a "great room" downstairs that consists of a really nice kitchen with upgraded appliances, a dining area, and the living area. There's a 2-car garage, and the best part is a backyard that's small but perfectly designed to be a retreat from the real world. My favorite part of the yard is a solar fountain that's a mermaid. Plus there are all kinds of tiny little succulents and perfect little plants and a few small statues... Everywhere you look you discover something else. It gave me a lot of ideas for a tiny yard in Florida. :)

Well, anyway, that's what I was up to for the last week. Now let's see if I can get the pictures posted. Oh,, look... I did it.

Male Chauvinist pig Lawnmower

Okay, so I have become more interested in gardening since I have been home and that has led naturally to being more interested in the appearance of the front yard. I refuse to take on the back yard, I have my limits after all. So with all the rain we've had the front yard has managed to become all green and has those funny lumps of green grass that have grown more than the rest of the lawn (crab crass, I think) and it needs mowing. Since Dad is sick (some sort of flu bug or maybe food poisoning) I decided to mow the lawn myself. Actually, I have toyed with the idea for several days now, but to be honest I am a little scared of the lawn mower.

Lawn mowers are not friendly machines. For one thing, they're smelly. Also, they are noisy. And they don't turn on with a gentle turn of a key. No, you have to yank on a cord. And you can't use both hands to yank on it because you have to hold some bar down while you yank the cord so that the lawn mower will know you are not dead or something like that. Supposedly if you let go of this bar the lawn mower will assume you have died and it will stop. I don't know who dreamed up this "dead man" switch but I don't like it. Anyway, so here I am yanking on the cord and holding down this bar. I get "putt putt putt." I am yanking with all my might and I get "putt putt putt." I open up the gas hole and it is not only empty it is DRY. I get the gas can and pour some inside. I yank the cord again and I get "putt putt putt." I try yanking it with my other hand (my first hand is getting tired) and since my non-tired hand is my LEFT hand, this time I get only "putt putt." So now I rope an innocent observer (my home teacher Colin) into holding down the bar so I can yank with both hands and I am rewarded with "putt putt putt putt." Oh goody.

Now I rope my innocent observer into trying to yank the cord. He gives a half-hearted yank and what does HE get? "ROAR!!!!" I am only a little annoyed that my lawnmower obviously knew a MALE had touched the cord and therefore decided to roar into life. I move the switch from the "N" (which I assume is neutral) into the "1" position (which I assume is the slowest) and the lawnmower takes off at what feels like 10 miles per hour. I am leaning backwards with all my strength as the lawnmower pulls me all over the lawn and I trot along after it, trying to guide it to the hairiest parts of the lawn. I am finally able to steer it around the outside of the lawn twice before my other home teacher shows up, Colin's father. Colin's father decides that Colin can read a short story to the Wizard and me from the porch (no one wanted to go into the house because no one wanted to catch the Wizard's flu bug) and then Colin could help me learn the other intricacies of the lawn mower (like, what's the difference between throttle and choke? Does the little picture of the turtle and the rabbit give me a clue?) while he finishes mowing the middle part of the lawn. Why is it that Colin is able to mow without throwing his entire weight backwards against the pull of that lawnmower? I mean, yes I think Colin out-weighs me a little bit, but as near as I can tell we were in the same gear...

Anyway, after a few moments he was done. I am claiming credit for mowing, however, because I mowed around the outside of the lawn and that was the hardest part. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. Afterwards, it was getting dark and I had Dad show me how to work the weed whacker. I used it to edge as well as I could, but I wasn't very pleased with the result around the sidewalk. The weed whacker did okay around the rose bed, but it looks like part of our lawn has slid over the sidewalk and I think tomorrow I might get a steak knife or something and edge the sidewalk edge of the lawn. (The wizard says we have a special shovel for this, and I will try that first, but I think a steak knife will work better.)

Once this is done I have a flat of snap dragons to plant and a flat of something else too. I don't remember what they are called but they have pretty little blue flowers on them. Plus I have some flower seeds to scatter. I just want our front yard to have some pretty flowers. Oh, and I ordered a tool to help dig out some dandelions.

Dad's happy that I am getting excited about the yard's appearance. But like I said, I draw the line at doing the back yard. That's for someone else.

The let down...

Okay, so Elli was scheduled to return home this coming Monday, but today after school Bridget was checking her email on my netbook and I heard her say, "Oh, no..." I said, "What?" She said, "Elli's going home tomorrow."

Yep, less than a day's notice. The kids are all supposed to take their packed luggage with them to school tomorrow and they're all leaving at 2:30 to get to the airport by 3, for their flight which leaves at 6:00 p.m.

I know I got to keep her for several days longer than I was supposed to so I have no business feeling cheated, but that's exactly how I feel, cheated. Bridget had already made all these plans for a giant sleepover on Friday, and I'm sure there were other things that were going to happen too. And Elli has an American boyfriend now, too. Allen, a friend of Bridget's, who is a really nice guy. Of course they are both really hurting right now.

I've listed myself and checked in for a flight tomorrow so I can go to the gate and wait with Elli. One of the perks of working for the airline. Also, MJ is working tomorrow so she might be able to pop over to the gate and say goodbye.

I would definitely do this again if I had the chance. Elli has been a joy.

Volcanos and German Exchange Students

Okay, so for the last three weeks we have had a German exchange student. When Bridget first asked if we could participate, I thought "Sure, why not..." We've had Japanese exchange students in the past and it's been fun so this was okay with me. And actually this has been easier because I've been a stay-at-home mom and I've been able to cook breakfast and make lunches for the the girls, plus I make dinners now so the brunt of it hasn't fallen on Gary at all.

Anyway, about three weeks ago we met Elli. She is quiet, but not necessarily shy. She observes us and then pretty much just steps right in and does what we do. Bridget has made sure that Elli has had a nice mix of activities so that her time here was a good blend of "regular teenager" stuff to do, like going to movies and going to the mall, typical tourist stuff like going to Cave of the Winds (and we saw some nice Anasazi ruins in Manitu Springs since we were close but we couldn't quite squeeze in Garden of the Gods), and she has left in plenty of just plain family time, too. Elli speaks English very well, much better than our Japanese exchange students did, so communication has been very easy. She speaks it well enough that she has been able to watch movies in English and enjoy them, which to me is a real test of knowing a language. She even laughs at the jokes, and I think humor would be one of the last things you would be able to get in a foreign language.

Anyway, Elli's three-week program was supposed to be over yesterday. Due to the volanic activity that has shut down air travel all over Europe, though, her stay has been extended for a little over a week. (Who knows if it'll be extended any further?) Anyway, we're glad to get to keep her for a little longer, she's really a sweet girl and the three weeks pretty much flew by.

I wonder if Bridget is going to want me to keep making lunches for her after Elli is gone home? I never did that before Elli came, I've only been doing breakfast.

In other news, I had a job interview (phone) for a part-time job and it must have gone reasonably well (I thought it had but what I mean is, the interviewer must have thought so too) because I have a 2nd interview a week from tomorrow. It's for a software company and they want a part-time office administrator to take care of basic administrative tasks that have been piling up. It's pretty much downtown and they're flexible with the hours, five days and 20 hours a week. I have to say I've got mixed feelings because I've gotten used to staying home and getting stuff done around here, but I'd rather be part time than full time so maybe this is the way to go. And anyway, there are probably a LOT of people who are wanting this so the odds of my getting it are probably about one in 50 or so.

Also, I have been having fun poking around with gardening. So far I have experimented with one of those topsy turvy things for strawberry plants. I also have one for tomato plants, but my tomato plants aren't big enough yet to put in there so that will have to wait a bit longer. I also have four pots to use for a couple more tomatoes, a few peppers, and some basil. And last time Michael and I were at Sam's Club, I saw a kit for a raised garden that was only $39 for 3.5 feet by 8 feet, so I got it and I'm hoping to get it put together this week and get it filled up with potting soil. Then I want to get some cucumbers and more tomatoes and other stuff in there. On my patio I have some trays that mount on the railing that have lettuce and spinach. Hopefully I won't kill them. I'm hoping to be able to go out and snip salad though the summer time. (The front was the only place we have that doesn't get too much sun, apparently lettuce and spinach don't like full sun.)

Also, I planted a new blackberry plant, pruned down all of the overgrown raspberry plants, and cleaned up all of the overgrown rosebushes and re-planted a couple of rosebushes where our old ones didn't make it. So far I have managed to not kill anything, we'll see how the rest of the summer goes.

Gary is out of town for the week. That means I get the whole bed to myself, but it means I have no one to chat with at night. I'd rather chat at night than have a whole bed to myself. I miss him already.

Stupid decisions make for good stories...

Okay, so I was cleaning up the kitchen right before we were going to go to Costco today and I like to clean Aidan's sippy cup lids by hand because they don't get clean enough in the dishwasher. The spouts in particular get schmutz in them that can be kind of hard to get out.

After soaking the lids in some hot soapy water they usually clean up pretty easily with the dish brush, but one of the sippy cups must have been lying on its side with a trace of Aidan's favorite drink, chocky milk, in it. There was some particularly stubborn residue in the very tip of the drinking spout. I couldn't quite reach it with the dish brush so I broke out the bottle brush and couldn't get it with that either. I glanced up at the knife holder (magnetic) on the side of the cupboard and there was the perfect instrument to get out the last little bit of schmutz: a paring knife.

I took the paring knife and used the tip to scrape out the schmutz. I got it except for a tiny little speck of it right at the very corner of the spout so I decided to push harder with the knife to gouge out that stuck schmutz when WHOOSH! The blade of the knife (which I had no idea was that sharp) sliced RIGHT through the sippy cup lid and also through the tender flesh between my thumb and forefinger.

It's the kind of cut that opens every time you move your hand. Oh, and bleeds every time you move your hand, too. I hollered for Gary, twice, to come down to the kitchen and when he saw my hand he got sort of a cross between a "concerned for his wife" look and an "oh boy, now I can use my spiffy first aid kit" look as he trotted out to his car for his "3 by 3's." I thought to myself, "3 by 3's? I know what a 2 by 4 is, a hunk of wood. What is a 3 by 3?" Okay, I found out it is a piece of gauze. If he had said he wanted a piece of gauze I would have told him to get it from under the bathroom sink but then he wouldn't have had the joy of opening up his spiffy first aid kit.

Anyway, Michael took a look at it and tried applying some steri strips but due to the location of the cut he figured I would need a stitch or two because the cut kept opening up and doing that annoying bleeding thing, so off I went to the emergency room. But first I had to go upstairs and dry my hair because I had just washed it a short time ago and I was NOT going to the ER looking like white trash. Of course once I had blown it dry I needed to curl it. I managed to do my bangs but there again I found out that dang it, each time I used my hand it did that annoying bleeding thing again so I asked Carolyn to curl the rest of it so I didn't look like a witch doctor. I didn't take the time to put on makeup, though, Gary was having too much fun making fun of me for doing my hair before I left.

It took three hours for the poor overworked, understaffed ER folks to get me stitched up. I ended up with four stitches which have to stay in for 10-12 days (again, due to the location and how long it'll take to heal there.) Oh, and I was specifically told not to do dishes. To be honest, I was pretty peeved at the thought of not being able to keep my kitchen clean, and Bridget reminded me that she has the week off because of Spring break. She is such a sweetie.

Not exactly the way I wanted to spend my Saturday. And the very moment I felt that knife slice through my hand I realized cleaning the sippy cup lid with the paring knife was not one of my better ideas...

A weird experience...

Yesterday I had a weird experience.

About a month ago, when Samara turned 18, she had a birthday party and a bunch of her friends played "bigger or better." She described it in her blog, and if you remember the winning team came home with a mini fridge. (traded up from a fax machine, which was amazing. All started from a freakin' clothes pin!) Anyway, what a harmless game for a bunch of teen agers to play!

So she had another chance to play with a whole bunch of her friends last night. She told me about it a few weeks ago, no big deal, right? Well, yesterday the Wizard asks me out on a date and I thought Woo Hoo, I will even change my shirt and put on makeup because he is worth it. Anyway, we went to Outback, and promised Samara the leftovers. As we are waiting for our table, I had a strange feeling of foreboding come over me regarding this activity. Not the activity itself, I know it's harmless and there is nothing wrong with it. But I had a bad feeling about the night itself and that Samara should not go. I texted her to tell her that I felt funny about it, and she called me. Since she called me, I stepped out of the restaurant (too noisy to talk) and told her how I felt, and because she is who she is, she said that she would stay home.

I don't even know how to express how grateful I am for her attitude. She can't have been very happy about that. I mean, for all she knew it was just me being a worry wart, but I know it wasn't that. I tried dismissing the feeling I had as just a whim, but I couldn't. Dad stepped out of the restaurant a few moments after I did, and as soon as I hung up the phone I started to cry tears of relief. As soon as I explained to Dad what had happened his entire countenance changed. It's as if he knew just from my telling him what I had experienced, that I had done the right thing.

I have no idea what would have happened if Bridget had gone to her "bigger or better" activity with her friends. That's the thing about promptings. If you obey, you will probably never know what would have happened. But I would rather live with the curiosity than be plagued with regrets if I had NOT listened.

And thank you, Bridget, for loving me enough to allow me the peace I needed last night. I love you.

A few random things...

1. Those of you living in the Denver area need to go to Cafe Rio (located at 610 S. Colorado Blvd) to do your civic duty and make sure that place not only survives but THRIVES so that they will open up many more Cafe Rios in the area, and hopefully one further north so we don't have to drive so darn far to eat there. Seriously, the food is that good. They make their own tortillas there, and once you eat one you will never be satisfied with anyone else's tortillas again. Yummy.

2. If you have never heard anything by Jim Gaffigan (comic) you should listen to him. I watched a video with Sharon M. called "King Baby" and it was hilarious. The man can talk for fifteen minutes about bacon, and it's a scream. I thought of Michael and Jason the entire time. (You two are also hilarious.) Anyway, find something by him and watch him.

3. I actually slept last night WITHOUT a decongestant. And I breathed through my nose. I am so happy.

4. I am always amazed that the weather seems to know when February is over and all of a sudden we have days where the temperature gets up to 50 degrees. It seems to happen every year. We're supposed to get several more days like this for the rest of the week.